Psst...have you heard? How to be a pro at office convos.

“Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

If you think about the last few conversations you've had and had to give an honest answer to the type of mind you have based on the quote above, what would it be? There are obviously a lot of discussions and interactions that happen within the workplace. Collectively, we all spend a lot of time here and often share a lot about our professional and personal lives. I wanted to write bit about how to navigate office conversations, particularly related to office gossip and rumors.

First, information is power. We collect information all the time through observations and conversations and how we share it matters. Watch out for people who are constantly acting with a “small mind” and only talk about other people. Associate yourself more with people who have “great minds” and talk about ideas and ways to better themselves and/or your company.

For me, the line that separates my personal and professional life almost does not exist. So much of my life is all blended together, and I have to consciously work hard to delineate between things that are appropriate for work and co-workers and when they’re intended for my friends. So many of my co-workers are my really close friends though, so I often struggle with what to share, who I share it with and when to share it.

Here are a few questions that I’ve found are important to ask myself:

• What will result from me sharing the information I know?

• Is the content I’m sharing positive or negative?

• Is the information I know related to me, or am I sharing it ‘just because’?

• If I’m talking about someone, is it something I would say to them personally?

• Will the information come out regardless of when I share it?

• Is it my information to share or would it be better from the source?

• Do I trust the person I’m talking to?

So, what do you do if someone approaches you with information that you that you feel isn’t the right thing to be shared (i.e. a rumor or piece of gossip)?

Remember that you have a choice and a voice. If you aren’t interested in being involved in a conversation, just speak up. Tell your friend/ co-worker clearly, “thank you for trusting me and coming to me with that information, but it doesn’t really concern me, so I’m not interested.” Don’t get so sucked into the chit-chat that you forget to use your power to remove yourself from the situation. Gossip is NOT a bonding tool and will not help you make or keep friends.

(To be clear, there are certainly times when you just need to vent and let some things out. We're all human and drama is just a part of life. As a society, we kind of love it- it's why reality TV shows and the news are so popular still. Some people, I think, just get a little addicted to the drama. Sometimes they need a pal like you to give them a reality check and help them get refocused on something more productive, like work.)

Be an up-stander. “Somebody who’s an up-stander is somebody who cares enough to say something. They’re just not a bystander. When an issue arises, it’s not just about the person who did it; it’s the 30 people who watched them do it and don’t say anything. You have to create a culture where people feel empowered and encouraged to say, hey, something doesn’t look right, so we can do something about it.” Don't be the one who didn't have the confidence to stand up for what's right.

In conclusion, collect information with integrity and use it wisely. Be brave enough to be a leader that engages in positive discussions and shuts down the negative ones. Venting is definitely okay when needed, but just make sure it’s to the right people and not all the time. Finally, what you choose to talk about at work matters and it reflects your character so make sure you’re respecting yourself and others all the time.

Thanks for reading All Kinds of Vibes // Megan